


Being Human

by EllieMurasaki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Community: 100_women, Community: girlsofspn, Episode: s04e09 I Know What You Did Last Summer, Episode: s04e10 Heaven and Hell, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-21
Updated: 2010-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-13 22:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieMurasaki/pseuds/EllieMurasaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anna's last months human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Human

The church is such a peaceful place, Anna always thinks. Joyful when voices are raised in song, somber at the Eucharist when everyone symbolically eats of the Savior's flesh and drinks of his blood, but always, always peaceful. Always a sanctuary. Always _safe_. Anna was in the campus chapel when she heard "Dean Winchester is saved", and she ran there every time she heard the voices after that; it wasn't a pastor she trusted first with the angels' revelations, and Anna thinks if it had been, she wouldn't have been packed off to Connor Beverley. She would have been safe.

Everyone at Connor Beverley is so gentle, like Anna is going to bolt if anyone looks at her sideways. Maybe she is. People need to know, after all. If no one knows Lilith is breaking the seals, if no one knows Lilith will bring the end of the world, no one can try to stop her, no one will know to keep themselves safe. Anna knows exactly how crazy she sounds, but she has to keep trying to warn people. Why would she be hearing this if not to warn people? But all the response she ever gets is mildness.

Anna is so scared when she sees the orderly's second face. Somehow, though, she knows exactly what to do. Grab here, twist there, and the same part of her that hums when angels speak sings out, and the dresser slams into the orderly, and Anna's free. It's as though she's fought before, but she never has, except basic self-defense classes. Anna's a writer, not a fighter; she fights with words. Apparently there's a fierceness to her she never knew was there, and that the angels' voices have awakened. Anna doesn't like it, but she does have to live with it.

Time passes quickly. Too quickly and not enough. That's the problem with being on the run. The only safe place Anna can think of is her father's church, so that's where she goes, but the trouble with being there is she's alone. She has to warn people but there's no _time_. Once the seals start opening, will people be willing to believe her? Anna's thinking of the big seals, the ones that cause chaos, not just killing a couple people here and a scattered handful there. The ones that can't be denied. Maybe then it'll be safe to come out.

Dean Winchester is more than Anna imagined. Braver, stronger. (More handsome.) The angels might not like Sam but Anna is damned herself if she can see why. Ruby is just like the orderly, but Ruby isn't trying to hurt Anna. More, Ruby is helping Anna, and Anna can help keep Ruby's host alive while Ruby's out. Anna can do that. Then the angels want to kill Anna (why hadn't she heard that earlier?), then Pamela, and Anna _is_ an angel? And the only way it looks like any of them will survive is for Anael to make a comeback. Great.

Why are Castiel and Uriel concerned with killing Anna, anyway? The apocalypse is coming. Apocalypse, Revelation, Unveiling: call it what you will, the world is _ending_ , or will be, if Lilith isn't stopped. Anna won't be breaking any seals any time soon, so Anna should be small time. Even with how horrible Anna's crime is considered to be, there's a whole planet of people that the legions of angels are charged to protect. Anna should not be high on anyone's priority list. Not the angels', at least, except to keep the demons from getting her. Anna doubts she'd survive that.

Really, Anael should have expected this. She was too proud to think she'd ever be caught. There are hundreds of people born every moment, and it's so much harder to pin down moment of conception than moment of birth, and Anael was counting on no one caring enough to figure out which human child was Anael, but like she tells Dean, she committed the equivalent of murder in the first. Killing an angel is a crime punishable by death, and Anael effectively killed herself. She should have known she'd die for her pride. She should have known she'd die, period.

Then, of course, there's Dean. Anna knows exactly what Dean's done. Not in detail, of course, no one but Dean knows that, but in general. No one should ever have to endure that. Anna can't help but feel sorry for him. Her compassion is limited by knowing he chose the course that led inexorably to becoming a torturer, but her compassion is near limitless. Even so, Anna's feeling more sorry for herself at the moment. Dean is not scheduled to die in the morning, and Dean should resign himself to knowing that nothing he could do would prevent Anna's death.

Anna isn't lying when she says chocolate cake is one of the best things about being human. S'mores. The bread Anna bakes for whoever happens to be hungry; Anna would have a great deal of difficulty with a gluten-free diet. Loyalty, forgiveness, love, sex: Anna misses sex. Anna would also have a great deal of difficulty with a church that required confession of sins to the pastor. Who was her father. Except that her Heavenly Father already knows everything she has done wrong, has commanded her death. She wants to say 'fuck that', but she'll settle for fucking Dean Winchester.

Twenty-five years on God's green earth. Twenty-five years of living and loving and laughing. What does Anna have to show for it? A little more compassion, a little understanding, two dead parents, and not a hell of a lot else. Did Anna make anyone's life better? She tried to, with the baking and the political articles, Habitat for Humanity and the local soup kitchen, warning about the apocalypse and trying to ease Dean's mind. She thinks she succeeded, but she has no way of knowing. That's the thing about being human. Which Anna no longer is. What is Anna's legacy?


End file.
